Weapon and the Meinster
by Maeve Moonstone
Summary: So, this is a Pinky and the Brain / Soul eater crossover, where Pinky and the Brain enroll in the DWMA in order to try and take over the World! I seriously have no clue why nobody has ever thought of doing this before. As soon as I saw Patchwork lab, I had the pinky and the brain soundtrack in my head. It's like a stitched-up Acme, only without the sign. Anyway, READ THIS!
1. Chapter 1

"Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Slay keshins!"

(Resonance opening sequence, passing Soul and Maka and ending on the siloettes of Pinky and Brain. Sing lyrics to Soul Eater, Resonance.)

Pinky and the Brain

Their gonna take Earth

Their Pinky and the Brain

Because one is really quite a genius, the other's not really sane

Because when they attend the DWMA they shall slay

All the keshins and then

They'll take over the world

Maybe one day

They'll take over the world, but first they've got to try

To understand each other

Matching their soul wavelengths

Their Pinky and the Brain

Brain Brain Brain Brain, Brain Brain Narf

PatBxSE prologue 1

Pinky and the Brain

(The title card shows a picture of Brain dressed as Soul being protected by a Pinky dressed as Maka with Dr. Stein looming over them, unaware of their presence. The title is in Japanese letters, but has been translated into English in a closed caption subtitle. Fade out of the title card to view Patchwork Lab, with the traditional PatB bouncy diabolical background music playing as we slowly zoom into Patchwork lab, fading into Dr. Stein's workroom, where he busies himself at the computer, then ignore him completely as we fade-zoom to one of his shelves, where there is a familiar greenish cage. Fade-zoom to into the cage, where there are two even more familiar lab mice. Brain busies himself with his log book and plans in a similar manner that Franken Stein has busied himself at the computer, while Pinky runs on his wheel. Pinky appears to be breathing more wheezily than usual, and Brain glances up at his companion.)

Brain: Careful, Pinky. Remember, you and I are still recovering from this morning's dissection.

Pinky: Right-o, Brain! Oh, but wait a minute...Narf! doesn't he dissect us every day? Troz.

Brain: yes, but this time we need to refrain from injuring ourselves so that we'll be ready for tonight.

Pinky: why, Brain? What are we gonna do tonight?

Brain: the same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!

(Dr. Stein tightens his screw, stretches, sighs, and looks at his clock)

Dr. Stein: well, looks like it's 2:00 in the morning. Time to hit the hey.

(Dr. Stein stands up, breathes out a puff of cigarette smoke, takes a folder from his desk, and flicks the lights off as he leaves the room. Cut to the cage.)

Brain: finally. I thought he'd never leave.

Pinky: (wrinkling his nose) he's not very healthy, now is he? I mean, smoking, staying up all night working, forgetting to eat... Troz! Almost like you, Brain! Fjord! Only, you don't smoke anymore, now do you?

Brain: thankfully, Pinky, that detrimental habit has been long since forgotten. However, habits that usually harms one's health to the extreme have almost no affect upon Dr. Stein, because of his godly strength in the soul. A trait that both you and I shall both hopefully one day receive, through proper training-and the only place to receive such training is here, at the Death Weapon Meinster Academy, more commonly known as the DWMA. Once we are students at the academy and complete the requirements for graduation, either you or I shall become a powerful weapon of Lord Death himself! What he doesn't know is that we shall betray him and take over his academy. Once we control the academy, we control Death, as well as an entire army of highly trained weapons and meinsters, and with those resources, the world shall be ours!

Pinky: Egad, Brain, Brilliant! Oh, but wait, no. I thought only warlocks and magicians could go to school there?

Brain: that's weapons and meinsters, Pinky. And that is precisely what we shall become.

Pinky: but Braaaaain, I thought you had to be BORN a special woodlum or micer- you can't just become one!

Brain: Again, that's weapon and meinster, Pinky. And that was before-now, thanks to this special serum I have been secretly concocting and testing on the houseflies, I have created a method by which one can become a weapon or a weapons meinster-through SCIENCE!

(Brain takes out an eyedropper filled with thick, glowing green liquid, and hands it to Pinky)

Pinky: well, what happened to the houseflies, Brain?

Brain: ummm...

(Cut to brief flashback of Brain dropping chemicals into the mouths of houseflies, who then start pairing off and becoming weapons and meinsters and flying through the window to defeat keshin before getting squished by Blair. End flashback.)

Brain: some things, Pinky, are better left unsaid.

Pinky: well, then, shouldn't we not drink the magical syrup?

Brain: oh, the serum worked fine, Pinky. It's uncontrollable and unrelated events after after the serum took effect that are to be left unsaid.

Pinky: oh. Okay, then, Brain.

(Pinky squeezes a drop of the serum into his mouth, and smacks his lips experimentally)

Brain: well? Did it work?

Pinky: I'm not sure, Brain, but I do feel all tingly.

Brain: tingly... hm... can you be more specific?

Pinky: NARF! well, the tinglies are all over everywhere, Brain, but ZORT! especially my heart feels all glowy, but it's not really my heart, Brain, not really, poit, because my heart goes all bum bum bum like a drum, but this is more like fwoosh glow fwoosh grow, and then it fades a little and starts all over again, like, umm, fjord, a bit like breathing and a bit like drumming, only not.

(Brain takes a moment to decipher the string of gibberish that just left Pinky's mouth)

Brain: ... ahhh... perhaps I should take my dose.

(Brain takes the serum and drops a bit into his mouth, too, but then gains a strange expression as he shivers)

Brain: nyah... that's strange... it's... oh, lord...

(Brain suddenly screams as a glow escapes him, and Pinky starts to glow, too)

Pinky: HA HA HA NARF FJORD POIT TROZ ZORT EGAD BRAIN, IT'S REALLY ZORT TINGLY EGAD NOW NARF!

Brain: THE SERUM... IT'S TAKING FULL EFFECT! IT MUST BE... AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(There is an explosion of light, and the two mice are left panting on the countertop)

Pinky: egad, Brain... what was that?

Brain: the serum... it... it must not work unless... unless there is a... a compatible second soul within the vicinity...

Pinky: egad, Brain... does that mean we're soulmates?

Brain: in a matter of speaking, Pinky... yes.

Pinky: ... HOORAH!

(Pinky throws his hands in the air in celebration before catching Brain in a tight hug, pulling Brain tightly to his chest and snuggling his giant head with the side of his face, his goofy grin wider than usual)

Pinky: oh, Brain, we're gonna go dating and we're gonna go to prom and we're gonna get married and we're gonna have loads of kids and we're gonna get all old and grouchy together and-

Brain: (highly flustered) PINKY!

(Pinky shifts his hug so that he can look at Brain upsidedown)

Pinky: yes, Brain?

(Brain angrily grabs Pinky's snout)

Brain: Pinky, you-

(Pinky begins to glow with white light, much to Brain's surprise, and his entire figure shifts as Brain stands. It turns into a whip-shape, and the light breaks off to reveal a white whip with pink, blue, yellow and black stripes, the handle ending with a red ball that looks suspiciously like Pinky's nose. The Pinky-whip starts to wiggle in Brain's hand uncertainty as Pinky's echoed voice emits from the device)

Pinky: Brain? Troz. What just happened? I feel all cramped, but Narf at the same time, and I feel all squirmy-wormy squiggly-wiggly and colorful like a rainbow snake. (Gasp) Egad, Brain! Am I a rainbow snake?

Brain: that's... a fairly close guess, actually. But no, Pinky, you are not a rainbow snake. You are simply in your weapon form, which appears to be a very colorful whip, which I imagine should feel like being, as you say, a rainbow snake.

Pinky: sooooo... fjord... I'm a rainbow whip?

Brain: (rolling his eyes) yes, Pinky. You are a rainbow whip.

Pinky: Naaaaaaaaaaarf...

(Brain releases Pinky, who glows and reverts back to hu...well, MOUSE form, leaning curiously over his pondering partner)

Pinky: what cha' pondering, Brain?

Brain: him? Oh, I was just pondering on the abilities that we each have. The fact that you can turn into a weapon at will might mean I have to keep a closer eye on you so that you don't damage yourself.

Pinky: Egad, Brain, I would never turn into a rainbow whip without you! That's unsanitary!

Brain: (touched) ... really, Pinky?

Pinky: why, of coarse, Brain! You're my soul mate! Oh, but Troz, if I can turn into a rainbow whip, what can you do, Brain?

Brain: well, Pinky, while you have the ability to change your physical structure, I have many abilities that have less to do with the physical body and more to do with the mind and soul. Meinsters are the only ones who can wield weapons such as yourself, but they can also see straight into the soul of another being and can sense when a soul has been corrupted. When a soul has been corrupted, it is the duty of the meinster and his weapon to reap that soul.

Pinky: reap the soul? But, Brain, doesn't that mean we have to...?

Brain: well, yes, but we would actually be saving millions of uncorrupted souls in the process, because otherwise, the uncorrupted soul would personally reap the souls of multiple innocent human beings in order to gain power.

Pinky: oh, okay. So we only have to kill the bad guys?

Brain: precisely. Now, come along, Pinky. We must prepare for tomorrow morning.

Pinky: why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow morning?

Brain: the same thing we shall do every morning from this moment on, Pinky. Go to school.

Their Dinky,

Their Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain,

Brain.


	2. Chapter 2

"Gee, Brain, what are we going to do tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Slay keshins!"

(Resonance opening sequence, passing Soul and Maka and ending on the siloettes of Pinky and Brain. Sing lyrics to Soul Eater, Resonance.)

Pinky and the Brain

Their gonna take Earth

Their Pinky and the Brain

Because one is really quite a genius, the other's not really sane

Because when they attend the DWMA they shall slay

All the keshins and then

They'll take over the world

Maybe one day

They'll take over the world, but first they've got to try

To understand each other

Matching their soul wavelengths

Their Pinky and the Brain

Brain Brain Brain Brain, Brain Brain Narf

PatBxSE episode 1

The Plan Begins

(Patchwork labs, fade-zoom to the cage, where Brain is filling out an application form and Pinky appears to be playing dress-up. Pinky finds a tutu and gasps in delight, immediately securing it around his waist and twirling about. Brain glances over and rolls his eyes, before returning his attention to the plans. Pinky starts sewing light blue sleeves onto a yellow Chinese shirt with black trim that he found, humming happily to himself the tune to the original PatB theme song. While he's sewing, we go to Brain, filling out the form.)

Brain: name: Pinky, nickname: Pinky, gender: male, race: albino mouse, eye color: blue, height: 2.5 inches, age: 2, Weapon, Weapon type: ...well, he's certainly not a demon weapon... hm... (glances at Pinky) rainbow whip. Partner: The Brain, personality. Hm. Childish, random, quirky, idiotic, but insightful, athletic, imaginative, strong inclination towards ballet, kind, generous, compassionate, prone to constant tics, illogical, friendly, extremely high tolerance for physical pain, emotional, dramatic, improvisational, with many feminine characteristics and tendencies. And... loyal.

(Brain allows a small smile to cross his face, his eyes losing a bit of his usual businesses-like coldness and gaining a hint of fondness as he re-reads the form. Pinky twirls over, wearing a pink tutu, black ballet slippers, the yellow/black/blue top that shows off his midriff, and a bubblegum pink Maka wig. He looms over his friend, reading the form. Brain looks up to meet Pinky's eyes.)

Pinky: Hi!

Brain: Pinky, what on earth are you wearing?

Pinky: it's my outfit, Brain. For school.

Brain: Pinky, you are NOT going to wear that ridiculous monstrosity you call an outfit in public.

Pinky: but Braaaain, all the kids are wearing ridiculous outfits these days. Even the grown-ups do it. I mean, have you seen the things Dr. Stein wears? He looks insane! Well, I suppose he actually IS a little insane, but I mean his CLOTHES are insane.

Brain: yes, but you might not want to wear something so ridiculously revealing. And take off that wig!

(Brain snatches the wig off of Pinky's head. We are all thankful because that thing looked absolutely hideous.)

Pinky: but Braaain, this isn't any more revealing than what any of the other girls wear and besides, I'm covered with fur! I'm more covered up than anyone!

Brain: yes, but people are going to think that fur is skin. I don't want them getting the wrong idea.

(Pinky giggles)

Pinky: of COARSE they won't get the wrong idea, silly. I'll be with you, cuz' we're soul mates!

Brain: PFF...wha... PINKY!

Pinky: yes, Brain?

Brain: we... well... just... although it is more common than not for a weapon and meister to pursue a romantic relationship, it does not mean that all weapon and meinster pairs must ... become a COUPLE.

Pinky: oh... Poit... does that mean we're not soul mates?

Brain: Pinky... (sigh) I'm sorry, I forgot to reprimand you earlier, when you turned into a weapon. Logically, it would be... unwise for us to become...romantically involved.

Pinky: why, Brain?

Brain: (flustered) because it just IS, alright?

(Pinky shrugs while Brain averts his gaze, turning his head and hiding his flushed face with his hand and hunched shoulders, half-crossing his arms. Pinky picks up Brain and carries him over to the chest that held all their clothing. He gets halfway there before Brain shoves him away.)

Brain: I do not need your ASSISTANCE in order to WALK, Pinky!

Pinky: alright, Brain. Suit yourself.

(Pinky drops Brain, who lands on his rear.)

Pinky: Troz.

(Brain shoots Pinky a glare and mumbles things under his breath that would NOT be suited for a rated T fanfic. Pinky ignores him, cheerfully prancing over to the open chest. He comes back with a bundle of clothing in his arms and plops a red baseball cap backwards on his friend's head, covering his eyes. Brain tugs it off, his head being freed with a pop, and Pinky tugs a white shirt onto Brain. Brain looks at Pinky, confused, while he is being dressed.)

Brain: Pinky, what on earth are you doing?

Pinky: why, I'm getting you dressed for school, Brain! Troz! You don't want to go NAKED, do you?

Brain: Pinky, I am perfectly capable of dressing myself.

Pinky: but Braaain, you don't know how to put on the outfit I chose for you! You gotta put it on a special way, see?

(Brain huffs in resigned annoyance)

Brain: alright, FINE, Pinky, but just this once, and only because I do NOT have the energy to argue with you right now.

Pinky: HURRAH! Okay, the pants are next... oh, but wait, you have to put on some underwear first, don't you?

Brain: PINKY!

Pinky: alright, fine, no underpants for mister grouchy-hippo-head.

Brain: you know what, Pinky? I've changed my mind. I'm dressing myself. And while I do that, put on something more sensible. And no wigs!

Pinky: what about the tutu, Brain?

Brain: fine, the tutu can stay.

Pinky: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!


End file.
